


Another Virgin Sacrifice

by madeofdoom



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Murder, implicit serial murder, its not porn i promise, psycho strilondes, theyre using satanists as a cover up btw, xfiles kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madeofdoom/pseuds/madeofdoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the beginning of an xfiles ep idgaf.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Virgin Sacrifice

> read this morning’s paper. Dave rolled his eyes and handed it to his sister, who snorted, folding it back up and tossing it with remarkable precision into the wastepaper bin.   
“Porrim? A virgin?” Rose snorted, “honestly, how little research to those reporters do?”  
“Yeah, if she was a virgin I’m Miss fucking Texas,”  
“You do have the figure for it,” Rose retorted, with her usual faint smirk.  
“Damn right, I do. Just need a pair of tits and I’m every guy’s dream woman,”   
“Yes, well, thankfully, Porrim was the furthest possible from a virgin, trust me,” Rose winked.   
“Do you fuck everyone? Like seriously, who haven’t you given an orgasm?”  
“Well, Cronus of course, and I’m fairly sure I’ve never been anywhere near the genitals of the eldest Makara,”  
“Fairly sure,” he echoed, standing up and grabbing his jacket, “now, for another incredibly stimulating day of whatever exactly we supposedly do in high school?”  
“Don’t be so pessimistic, we have rehearsals all afternoon, so we don’t have to endure Mr Harrison’s overly tight trousers or Miss Davies’ inability to control her saliva,”  
“Ah yes, who doesn’t want to spend three hours learning how to harmonise shitty songs for a godawful production about gay cowboys?”  
“I’m not entirely sure where you got gay cowboys from,” she commented, amused.   
“I’m playing a stripper-cum-drag queen, the cowboys are fucking gay,” he retorted, earning him an exaggerated eye roll.  
Rose grabbed her own bag and led him out of the house, to the bus stop, earning a groan, “Oh, cheer up, we’re getting a lift home remember?”  
“Wait what, from who?” Dave asked, his attention suddenly piqued, “it’s not Gamzee again, is it?”   
“Cronus, of course. He’ll do anything if you bat your eyelashes at him. And it’s from whom, not from who,”   
“Y’know, for once I’m thankful my sister is a seductive little fuck,”  
“Oh, you’re always thankful, David dearest,” she smirked at him, making a mock kissy face.   
The bus pulled up before he had time for a witty retort, and they climbed in, taking their usual seats, four rows back and across from the Crocker-Egbert twins.   
\-----------------  
Several hours later, and they’re climbing into Cronus’ rather hideous, ‘vintage’ car. Rose in the front seat, and Dave in the back, sprawled across the three with precisely no seat belts done up, despite his sister’s halfarsed warnings for his safety.   
“It’s funny, isn’t it, all these sacrifices recently?” Rose remarked, a few minutes into the journey, “and all virgins, too, isn’t it a little scary?”  
“Nah, babe, I get plenty,” Cronus answered, winking at her before returning his attention to the near-empty country road.   
“Well, it creeps me out a little,” Rose shrugged, “what if I’m next?” she looked up at him, a feigned look of worry crossing her face.   
“Or me,” Dave piped up, finally returning to a sitting position, “I mean, I don’t think either of us would be able to fight of a bunch of Satanists after our blood,” he added, a blatant lie, it was generally common knowledge that they both had plenty of training with an incredibly varied range of weapons, although this was not the kind of thing Cronus was often attuned to.   
“Maybe we need someone to protect us?” Rose suggested, casting a barely noticeable wink to her brother as she gave Cronus a pair of ridiculously uncharacteristic puppy eyes.   
“Perhaps, if we weren’t virgins, we’d be less scared?” Dave countered; matching Rose’s expression, “there’s a rather hidden forest road coming up, it would be so generous of you…” he trailed off, to stop himself bursting into laughter.   
Cronus, of course, was oblivious to Rose and Dave’s internal hysterics, not having to be asked twice before he pulled the car up, parking just under a weeping willow, shielding them from public view. He pulled the handbrake, and reclined his chair slightly, “So, how do you guys wanna do this?” he asked, his rather embarrassing speech impediment coming out.   
Dave pulled him into the back seat, with surprising strength considering his diminutive stature and skinny arms. Rose followed after him, having put the handbrake on and grabbed a couple of condoms and a bottle of lube from the glove box, evident wishful thinking on Cronus’ part.   
Dave crawled between his legs, undoing his belt, before quickly unbuttoning his jeans. Rose was busy removing his jacket and shirt, and soon the pair had him naked, already hard and pathetically desperate.   
Rose pulled away from Cronus, casting Dave a quick look. He nodded, and she hitched up her skirt. Cronus grinned, not noticing the dagger strapped to her thigh. She pulled the dagger out of its holster, pressing it up against his neck. A look of horror flashed across his face, before it went completely blank, blood pouring all over the black leather seats.


End file.
